Wednesday, June 22, 2011

When it rains it pours... thank God for rainbows

Its always hard to see someone you care about going through something that you literally can not help them through. Its even harder to see it get worse and worse and worse. What I didn't realize that its just as hard when its you going through something and you know that no one can say or do anything to ease the hurt. Specially when that is the one thing you want. Someone to tell you its gonna be ok and really feel like it is. I understand that the reality is it does get better but when your world crashes around you and then crashes again and again...  a light at the end of a tunnel is the last thing you ever expect to see again. I can honestly say that even on a good day in the last 2 weeks, I cant see the light at the end yet. I feel like maybe I will someday, and believe when i say someday, the sooner that someday gets here the better.

My rain storm turned into a thunderstorm then turned into a tsunami. The good news is that i have seen an occasional rainbow and that in itself gives me hope. Because I know that a rainbow is God's promise that he will guide us through any storm, I force myself to wake up, get up and move. So far my rainbow has peaked through the storm clouds a few times which gives me hope that my storm is coming to an end... Right now hope and faith are my saving grace. Without those occasional glimpses, I would be lost. Thank God for my rainbow, my light at the end of the tunnel.

When you feel battered by life’s storms and you are filled with doubt. Just remember God’s rainbow is coming and He’ll be there for you
Genesis 9:16
When the rainbow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I don't have a lot to say. My surgery went well. At least it went. Turns out I have endometriosis. And... it doesn't seem that me trying trying to get pregnant is ideal. As a matter of fact, i should not be trying. My chances of a ectopic are great, so much so that it is advisable to quit trying. If i want to have a baby, my options seem to be IVF.

I am in a emotional funk. There's more to my "funk" than just the surgery and the bad news but that will work itself out...

Interesting enough... i get a devotional every Monday for my kiddo. Yesterdays was about Faith and trusting in what you can not see because of what you can see. That was certainly meant for me!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tomorrows the day!

I am super excited that tomorrow is the big day for surgery! I am going for pre-op in a little bit. Course it could all change like last time and I don't think I will believe its happening til I got the IV in my arm and I am getting the loopy stuff! That's always a fun time for Chris! Man I love my hubby. Hes such a good guy. Hes willing to spend his birthday with me in the hospital! We are going to the lake this weekend though so he will get to have some fun and he got an awesome new handgun for his big day!

Speaking of that we went to the the gun range this last Sunday, took Christian's sweet little girl friend Kaydee with us. I really enjoy her, she's so sweet but man she never knows what she's gonna hear when she hangs out with my crew! She got to hear about farts after dinner. This is my life!!!

On a great and happy note, baby Jacob is doing well. He is a fighter and already has me wrapped around that itty bitty finger!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Its Been Awhile

Don't actually know why its taken me so long to get around to posting... guess I just haven't had a lot to say... but man did that all change this weekend...

First I found out last Thursday that I will be having surgery on the 8th. My poor sweet hubs has to spend his birthday in the hospital with me, but he will gladly do it because he loves me!

Second my best friend in the world had her baby boy this weekend. Its bittersweet, Jacob Ryan was 14 weeks early and only weighed in at 2 lbs 2 oz. He is 13" long. He is stable and doing well. I know that he has a very long road ahead of him but I have all the faith in the world in Gods plan for the Martin Family! I cant wait to share his progress here. Please keep their little family in your thoughts and prayers.

Hebrew 11:11

Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.