Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Miscarriage

So last week, it seems that I miscarried the sweet precious baby that I was blessed with. It has been a heartbreaking weeks as I come to terms with what happened. I know that God has a plan and I am doing my best to not question what that plan is. As hard as that is I have to look back and remember that I have had 2 miscarriages in the past and if I had not lost those babies I would not have Ryan or Christian. I have to believe that I will get pregnant again and that I will be blessed with a precious baby at some point.

I had to go yesterday and get the final HCG blood level drawn so that it could officially be called a miscarriage. I should hear those results today. Dr Young said that as soon as I have a normal period I can start to try again. I think that's what we want to do. I guess in a way I am scared to do that. The first 12 weeks are so scary and I just hate the thought of going through this again. I have had a hard time talking to God about this as well. Actually I have had a hard time talking to him at all since this happened. I know that's the last thing I should happen. I keep hoping that I will get past this anger or frustration that I feel and I will. I hope that today when I hear from Dr Young's office I will be able to move forward. I know that I miscarried but try as I can, I keep having that tiny little hope wiggle its way into my thoughts.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Late!

I am praying for patience...

I am 2 days late but not getting the coveted positive result I am looking for on those pesky little pee sticks! Which is frustrating to say the least! Whats up with my body... sore boobs, bloated tummy and serious hormone issues... all with nothing to show for it yet!!!!!!!!

I prayed for patience this morning so I am going to trust that either the yucky aunt flo will show or that pretty little line will!!! Either way I will be grateful for all that the Lord has blessed me with thus far! He really is amazing and giving. Ryan made it to 18 and I am so thankful! He has a job and hopefully a new desire for living healthy! Christian and the MHS band made it to the finals and tied for 5th place to go to State... but didn't win the tie... But that's ok because I couldn't be prouder for them. MHS is in the playoffs and they will play thier first game at Texas Tech Stadium... (boo) Kaden lost another tooth and has discovered (much to my delight) his love of reading! Chris is overworked but likes his job, he just got a raise. I love my job and I also got a raise!

Like I said I am blessed!!!!! Thank you God for my abundant blessings!

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1: 16